there was a guy there (to continue in my girly trend of the past few weeks) who was so handsome it was destroying my brain cells. I kept seeing him out of the corner of my eye. At one point, I was walking back from the stage and he was looking at me and I completely walked into somebody. Usually, I hope I'm much suaver than this.

4/20I do love new york. In part. A great part. Although the drama never ends, and my life is still like a bad movie, or possibly a john hughes movie. WHOM do I see at 2 am as we walk into a loft party in Williamsburg? Why none other than my last ex, the one who broke my heart and moved to NYC and never. spoke. to. me. again.
Oh. hi. So we had an awkward and phony conversation where we told each other what we were up to. When I told him I was dj-ing and spinning jungle and dancehall, he was like '"oh that's great because you know dancehall is really where jungle came from." that was when I started thinking "..must..end.. this conversation... NOW" because, um, guy seemed to forget that we had had that conversation about jungle and its roots like maybe a billion times. in fact that's kinda how we met . I may sound a touch angry, but go figure: we met, had an amazingly intense, romantic relationship for 7 months, spending lots of time together, *doing stuff* together (like museums, making art, playing music), saying sweet and romantic things, and then he says to me "Actually I was just killing time in boston preparing for my big move to New York City to be an artist. No we can't try to have a long distance relationship because I'll be really busy. I'll be leaving in a month." and once he moved, he never spoke to me again. I went to NYC for other reasons a couple weeks later, then a month later, and paged him, hoping we could have a civilized conversation like adults, but no he never returned any page. coward. this crap never ends.

However, I did reconnect with some good friends, and made some new ones. And I'm definitely going back soon, for a longer timespan. I got some krazy new records, and a lovely frock. Time to gear up for our eviction party on Saturday..

4/16 yesterday's drama has peaked and cooled. ex/stillex lost it on the phone to me yesterday, which caused me to lose it on myself afterwards. I'm basically a trusting soul, or a guilt-ridden one, and I felt guilty first, before examining the situation. upon reflection, I had done NOTHING wrong. sigh.. things have calmed down since yesterday.

I did see "the Matrix" last night. hmmm. Keanu is slightly less terrible than one might expect. they keep it low on dialogue for him, lots of characters lecture him while he assumes that familiar hit-with-a-brick expression. The special effects are great, possibly the most seamless integration of computer graphics i've seen, extending what happened in City of Lost Children and Blade.. The kung fu fighting is *very* well done, the shoot-em-up scenes are prettier john woo, no blood, but lots of clouds of broken glass and shattered marble and smoke. the plot is basically an extension of "The Terminator"'s future scenes, plus some "keanu is the chosen one" wicked unconvincing little buddha nonsense. The racial subtext is annoying but confused. At first it appears that the great motivator for keanu to decide to act is the death of all of the non-caucasian sidekicks. it turns out that some of them live, but still..I did NOT need to see Larry Fishburne straining to break his chains to meet keanu his (great white) savior. the main female character starts out well, but basically fetches the coffee and falls in love with boy.. at the end she kind of redeems herself helping keanu help Fishburne get free. All in all, it had some irritating bits, but was visually entertaining.

I think I'm going to New York this weekend. some music, some dancing. I may even splurge on a train instead of greyhound, because it's so much nicer...