12/9The second moment of moment (heh) at that dinner (mentioned in the previous entry below) was even more complex and frustrating. There was another (American) woman there, who began a long rant about Sweden, about which she was extremely negative. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not idealizing Sweden, nor am I missing the importance of factors such as size, homogeneity, and history, or minimizing the struggles of various people within and without.. but in terms of standard of living, safety, violence (within and outside the home), Sweden has a lot going for it. Especially from a U.S. perspective. It also seems to have an interesting record regarding anti-apartheid work and support for independence movements in African nations (mozambique, angola) --anyone want to educate me on that?
Be that as it may, this woman was talking about Sweden's behavior during World War II. Now, I don't have any factual disagreements with what she said: how supposedly neutral Sweden was making ball-bearings essential to German tanks, offering safe passage for german troops and ships, as well as encouraging the stamping of "J" on jewish passports and denying Jews entrance to Sweden during the war. All of this is well-documented (although not talked about). And it deserves attention. But this woman was so venomous. Making faces, being heavily, heavily sarcastic, in that wounded-leftist kind of way. It's hard to convey in text exactly what she sounded like, but it was really off-putting. Besides the fact that she was sitting next to the only Swede at the party, a young woman dating the son of our host, who was not confident of her english skills and not an academic. Rant-woman went on and on about "Of course SWEDEN has such a repuTAYtion for neuTRALity... and when all of sudden people started talking about Sweden's role in the war and were like (slaps hand to forehead with dranatic face) 'oh we're so SOR-ry'" ..all the while facing away from the Swedish woman sitting next to her. Who looked distinctly uncomfortable. It was appallingly rude.
That kind of too-knowing tone is so repellent, especially in people who are activists. In this woman's case I also wondered why she was so suprised. Can you find any country which has 1)not been implicated in morally repugnant acts 2)freely and openly dealt with said implication in a way satisfying especially to those most victimized? Not that we shouldn't be outraged (that'd sound pretty funny coming from me), but it's not a useful way to talk about it. Especially at a party.
Luckily for all of us she didn't publicly hold forth on her views on Palestine. Apparently earlier she had been talking to my mom and dropped the phrase " well they didn't have death camps in Palestine." Charming. If there's anything I hate more than authenticity contests, it's suffering contests. I'f I'd heard her I mighta burst a blood vessel. (although the fireworks could have been something to see if she had said this... seeing as another guest at the party was a very distinguished Syrian intellectual who had lived in Lebanon for 15 years and trained in the PLO. then again he would have had better taste than to start something at this event.) Ah, dinner parties.who knew they could be so rife with internal conflict?

12/8Thinking back on some of my interesting times in Sweden. On Saturday night after 'thanksgiving' thursday, an American expatriate and his wife (who is Chilean) living and teaching in Uppsala, had a big dinner party with turkey and everything, inviting all the American scholars and some friends. It was an interesting mix of people. Our hosts' children were also there --they'd lived first in Norway then in Sweden: the son age 29 remembered Norway a little, the daughter,18, grew up in Sweden. Plus the woman who was dating the son. It was obvious that the academics at the table were not used to 'young people' participating in the discussion. The hosts' kids were not into intellectual stuff, either...they were very nice, but didn't expect to participate. this highlighted how unusual my family is. My folks and their friends always included me in discussion, listened seriously to my ideas. At this dinner party it was partly frustrating and partly amusing to see them not know how to take me--one minute talking about movies with the son, or tattoos with the daughter, then talking about resistance movements and their relation to religion in poland and south america with professor a or b.

There were two key moments I remember from that evening. the first one: An american woman was there who was an economist. She was sitting near me at one end of the table, and eventually she or her husband asked me what I was doing for school. When I told her of my interest in economics and hope to go to graduate school, she started listing Cornell and a bunch of US places that she thought I should check out. She hadn't heard much of anything I'd said, I guess. I was trying to figure out how to emphasize some aspect of my political/ethical/worldview stance to her, about why I wanted to study in europe and what I thought was interesting.. so finally I said. "Yeah, those places sound interesting.. but I'm really hoping to study in Europe, some place where people talk about class in something other than an undertone." She shut right up. I don't think I heard another word from her the rest of the meal. I started chatting with the man next to me about poland at that point. On the walk home my mom asked me what that woman and I had been talking about. She said that she hadn't made a point of introducing us because she didn't think that I would get much out of her, or that we would get along. I told what I said and she like to fell out laughing. "you said that? about class?" "Sure" I said. "I was as clear as I could be." Mom told me that she had had lunch with that woman, and they were talking about academia, and the U.S. And the woman told mom that there was no such thing as class in the united states. haw.

Of course, that woman's story is more complex. She and my mom had quite a talk, during which she told mom that this was true because her own dad was a truckdriver and here she was in academia. This made me wonder how she thought of herself and her past while she was 'in academia.' And who she thought my mom was that she had to present herself this way. Did she think mom was from a middle class background? What did she make of my mom's 'success' (in convential terms measured by her presence in Sweden), especially in regard to her class origins? Interesting..
I'll tell the other story from that night tomorrow.