Jan 12 00 Saw "Blackboards" last night. by Samira Makhmalbaf (hope i spelled it right). such a strange, beautiful film. me and MHB didn't want it to end. Also totally unexpected.. had no idea from scene to scene what would happen next, and the camera always focused on the most unexpected things. I'm embarrassed to admit I've never seen any iranian films before, despite their international fame. No Kierostami, no Makhmalbaf senior or junior. soon to be remedied. The one thing that jarred more than I liked was the sound, very raw. very harsh and unmixed or unbalanced. but I'll have to think about it some more, because i don't think there were ever any mikes in shot, which means it probably isn't an oversight that sometimes you could barely hear, and sometimes it hurt your ears, and a lot of times the mic was clipping from being overloaded.

oddly enough, the woman from The Surplus was there sitting in the row in frontof us. and MHB knew her, she's worked the bar at the Public-Toilet place.

Jan 10 00 ok it's been a while. lots of excitement in boston. i will summarize briefly, then i may continue the hiatus until the beginning of february. or, I may not.

1. LDL, on our 3rd time hanging out together after i got back, confessed that he has realised that ALL THIS TIME, he has been thinking of what he should do, what he ought to do, but he hasn't really been thinking about what he wants, and now he realises that he doesn't actually know what he wants. in life. as a whole. but including a relationship, or more specifically the kind of work that goes into a relationship. suffice to say that pretty much ends it between us for me, barring any heavens-opening. yes i am upset. furious. but better he stop wasting my time now than continue it for another fucking year. grrr.
2. flew to fort worth for five days to see grandma, who is too frail to make the trip to see us. it was a little sad, because she's aged a lot in the past year. she's decided to move into an assisted-living community, which is really good, because she's been all alone in a big house for years now, and it isn't particularly good for people who aren't steady on their feet, as she now is.. checked out her new apartment and it seems pretty nice.
3. Played a fantabulous party on new year's eve at my pal pixmaven's loft in chinatown. several hundred people in attendance, including most of my dearest friends in boston plus my pal ex-roomie who now lives in Stanford. My set was over the midnight hour, so my pal dj c did the countdown, and i dropped sister nancy singing 'bam bam' at midnight 2001. wore a brand new hoochie-top, black leather halter-vee-neck with tiny metal studs round the bottom edge and neckline that i got that day at filene's basement for ten bucks, plus my long grey-silver skirt with a back slit from Sweden two years ago.
4. was invited to play a gig in New York City on January 3rd. good man asmodeus spectre initially invited me and LDL, who could have driven. since that wasn't an option, was resigned to the bus. then ex-roomie, at the Newyear's party, offers to drive me there and back, so we can have a good 8 hours to catch up, and she can get to nyc for minute. whee! play the gig, at liquids, a very kool spot, and the promoters, two lovely women, liked me, as did the crowd. i seem to have many gig possibilities in the city.
5. realised that although I love and miss my Boston friends, new york city, police state that it may be, has more of the london thing going. Am re-freaked out by how segregated Boston is. feh. also realised that the cost of living in Broojlyn is significantly lower than Cambridge, MA, where I woudl want to live in the Boston area..
6. investigating legal research jobs in intellectual property/entertainment law. some staffing firms seem interested.

further bulletins as events warrant. have had such great highs and such lows that even describing it is intimidating. it's harder being back in London, because my deepest emotional connection here was with LDL, while in Boston i have many others for support. came back to my room plastered with his face. grrr. but all the other things in my life are going quite well. and he's the one who has to live with his depressed ass every day, and now i don't, i guess. sigh..

it wasn't a good night to watch two episodes of sex in the city, though. a crap show, but everyone gets laid a lot.